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Showing posts from September, 2009

Full-time mums are not bludgers

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I'm getting into dangerous territory here ...
According to the Australian Treasury Department's Ken Henry, (The Daily Telegraph 10/09/09, The Australian 16/09/09) once my kids go back to school, I will be sitting around doing nothing so I'd better get cracking and get back to work. In his plan any family tax benefits I'm receiving will be taken away so I will be forced to go back to work.
I should go back to work because it will be for my own good. Apparently the government now needs to tell Jenny with a brain all of her own, that she hasn't actually been experiencing any 'well-being' for the past 10 years.
How do we convince our society that: (a) being home at with kids full-time is REALLY hard work and (b) just because you can't measure this REALLY hard work in taxable income it is still immeasurably valuable to our society
Supposedly we're all a bit over 'feminism' and the battle has been won, but when there is even a whiff of women'…

Mama Mia

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You'll notice that my last post was blatantly ripped off from Mia Freedman's blog. I've been reading her latest book "Mama Mia - A Memoir of mistakes, magazines and motherhood', over the last few weeks and I've LOVED it! It's like reading therapy for mothers.
This is not high literature and there's a bit of 'naughty' language in it but there is so much in it that mothers can relate to. She's very honest about the reality of being a mum and the struggles of juggling a working life and a marriage and kids. (all my favourite kinds of topics!). Mia also shares the birth stories of her three kids (just like hanging out with the crowd at playgroup).
Mia is incredibly open and honest in sharing her story about a miscarriage at 19 weeks. Having had a few miscarriages myself I thought the way she expressed her experience was beautifully written. Terribly sad to read too. If you haven't had any miscarriages this is a helpful insight int…

What do stay at home mums do all day?

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I found this post from Mia Freedman's blog very entertaining.
If you're a mum I hope you like it.
If you're not a mum - I hope you find it educational!
http://mamamia.com.au/weblog/2009/06/what-do-stay-at-home-mums-do-all-day.html

Date nights

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Recently I wrote a post referring to some ideas from John Gottman's book about marriage. One of the suggestions was to have a weekly date.
Rowan and I have a weekly date. It sounds terribly organised doesn't it? It's actually something that we've done for most of our married life but now we can give it fancy title!
Most nights of the week we eat with the kids - as you might imagine it is not the most romantic event! Great for our family life though.
One night on the weekends the kids have a 'movie' night (dinner in front of a DVD) and we have dinner later without the kids. We usually order Pakistani takeaway (very, very hot - yay!) and watch something on TV together that we both enjoy. (at the moment we're watching taped episodes of 'The Wire').
Exciting stuff hey?! Well, it's exciting for us to just have some time each week where we can hang out and do something together we both find relaxing. We both look forward to it all week.
I r…

Let's get real - part 2

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Continuing on with my theme of 'Let's get real', I'd like to have a little look at a book I've been reading called, 'Shopping for Time' by Carolyn Mahaney (American minister's wife) and her daughters.

The book is good at reminding us that if we don't want to get overwhelmed by life then we need to think hard and work out our priorities. Having a plan is helpful - it helps you say 'yes' and 'no' and be comfortable with your decisions because you've thought through how you want to use your time.
But what bothers me about this book (aside from the smultchy mother-daughter blah, blah) is the sub-title. It promises me so much! 'How to Do it all and NOT be overwhelmed'. As I said yesterday (see messy house photos) you can't really 'DO' it all. Something usually has to give. Ironically, for me, it is because I have a list of priorities in my head. (Family, people, relationships - top of the pops. House-type…

Let's get real!

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Reality check time people!
I have many, many comments along the lines of "I don't know how you do it". So as a service to you all here is the evidence of how I don't actually 'do' it at all! It's Monday, 12.47pm and this is some of my house.
I have an essay due in a week for my uni course, we've had sick kids for weeks and having a tidy house is low down on the to do list.
I'll get around to tidying it soon or at least get the kids organised to do it! I think some visitors would help too-that usually motivates me into action.

Outsourcing babies

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Taken this week, Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick's twins (born in June via a surrogate) were photographed for the first time, complete with nanny. Apparently SJP is busy filming 'Sex in the City 2'.
I have to wonder why you would bother going to all the hassle of getting a surrogate to have your babies if you don't want to hang out with them? I know that there are lots of complex reasons for deciding to have kids and that the movie may be really important to SJP, but I still wonder. Surely they don't need the money.
Many times I would have happily outsourced my child minding but it breaks my heart to think of missing those precious early months when my babies were tiny. You can't get back the 'tiny' months again. And looking after them means you get to know them even though it's tiring and often overwhelming.
Who knows really? Perhaps she was off to get her hair done. I wouldn't mind doing that either.

Your child's gifted you say - that's nice, my kid has nits

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Five things you can do today to strengthen your marriage.

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From the book, "Seven Principles for making marriage work" by John Gottman and Nan Silver (2004).
I've dipped in and out of this book over the past 12 months and it is excellent. John Gottman claims that after years of research observing couples in his Seattle "Love Lab" (great name!), he can predict the chance of a couple divorcing with 91% accuracy. He says he can make this assessment in as little as five minutes of watching a couple interact.
1. PARTINGS: Make sure that before you say good-bye in the morning you've learned about one thing that is happening in your spouse's life that day-from lunch with the boss to a doctor's appointment to a scheduled phone call with an old friend.
2. REUNIONS: Be sure to engage in a stress-reducing conversation at the end of each workday
3. ADMIRATION and APPRECIATION: Find some way every day to communicate genuine affection and appreciation toward your spouse
4. AFFECTION: Kiss, hold, grab and touch each other …